SO: i do this thing where i imagine confrontations with strangers pretty much all of the time. not in the grand "i wanna fight sumpin" sense. it's more like i will take a look, or something overheard, or a brief exchange, to a fightin' end in my mind.
an example:
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me: (changing into gym clothes in locker room of new york sports club)
asshat: (also changing into gym clothes, at opposite wall of lockers. back to back with me)
unwitting employee (to asshat): hey man, how's it going?
asshat: muh. ok. how are you?
unwitting employee: not too bad. a little on the exhausted side.
asshat: oh, you own your own business and have two children under three years old, too? i can see how you'd be exhausted!
unwitting employee: uh...no. i, uh, better be moving on...
~END ACTUAL INTERACTION~
~BEGIN NONFRONTATION (none of this happened)~
me: oh, man! i TOTALLY own my own business and have two children under three. WOW! that's uncanny!
asshat: wow, really?
me: yeah, TOTALLY. and it's not like i'd walk around randomly volunteering that information in an attempt to belittle strangers and boost my own ego. because that would be fucking terrible of me, right!?
(laughs)
oh, man! we deserve medals for this shit. seriously! i mean, it's not like we made decisions that led directly to this point in our lives. we've been PUT UPON. we're MARTYRS! amiright!? yeah, i'm right!
alright, man. well good for you. you're really importa- wait! WE'RE really important! good for us!
asshat: (stunned silence)
~END NONFRONTATION~
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i'm going to write up some of these tidbits, because despite that little thing above where i say it'd be terrible to do something just as a self-centered, egomaniacal act, i just wanna BLOG, man...
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